Growing pains

So many days spent quietly writing, correcting, polishing, deep in thought about the universe being created on the page, but none of this helps me now in writing my dreaded synopsis.

I guess many feel like me the concern for the sudden exposure to other people’s eyes on my work, as if they could read into my soul, well in a way they are, I even ask them to.

I am spending an inordinate amount of time writing, reading, proofing and finally throwing away the piece of paper supposedly meant to hold my message in a bottle to agents and publishing houses. Please buy my book, it should say, if it were at all honest, instead it is filled with a horrid (to me) short version of the main story of the novel.

Yes, I know, I know: packaging is the most important part of the sale, but this story doesn’t want to fit in a box, it keeps escaping, it is alive and hates to be in one form only.

So here I am looking at the many agencies, publishers, contests and wondering if this frail ship will take me to the other side the way it wants, or if I need to force the material into a more suitable form for the world.

Opinions, suggestions, nudges are all welcome, since I am crossing this river, but I would prefer to do it in good company.

Thank you!


A gift for this season

Since we are now in the festive season I want to give you a big gift, some words of ancient wisdom from a wisdom keeper, a spirit man from the respected native tradition:

Dear world,
Special Messages from Grandfather Joseph


“Life is a journey. I think I’ve been this way. First of all I start by saying we don’t exist, so when I travel, I travel then to substantiate the fact that I do exist – but that I exist in a way that what supports my existence – my physical existence, my mental existence, my emotional existence and spiritual existence – is the spirit. All of us in that one spirit of lifeness, a spirit of finding adventures.

And then I see, in others that look just like me, two-leggeds in women and in men, that who we really are is the spirit. To go into adventures and to find the excitement and the experiences and the abilities that come in those moments when we are in that place with friends and friendships and the way they flood us with love and appreciation – the kind of love that is perpetual.

It never, never, for me, never dies. It’s always glowing and it’s always there. So that no matter where I am or where I go, I see that’s the light that keeps us searching for to find moments, those moments of enlightened awareness. Thank you.”


~ Grandfather Joseph Rael – Beautiful Painted Arrow


 “Tree of Life” – a special message from Grandfather
The Tree of Life ~ Joseph Rael
The Tree of Life ~ Joseph Rael

Altar of the Mountain Lion – Mossa-neh

There is an ancient tradition that if the grandfather did something and didn’t finish, the grandson would finish it. Joseph tells a story about his grandfather taking a fresh killed deer from the Wooden Cross Mountain hunting ground, because it was winter in 1937 and the people in the Pueblo were hungry. Then, in 1980, Joseph was hunting in the same mountain area, with the elder who had been hunting that day with his grandfather. A deer offered itself, and he shot it, but instantly he heard that he was not to touch it – he offered a little cornmeal, and left it for the great grandchildren of the mountain lion his grandfather had taken the deer from.

A week later, while building a sweat lodge in Tulsa, a man approached Joseph, saying that he had a dream that instructed him to give Joseph a special mountain lion’s paw that he had. This confirmed that the offering Joseph had left had been received. Joseph suggests that we look at our lives and see where we might be completing the work of our ancestors.

He says, “Don’t worry about it! But it can help us understand how life can seem a little crazy!” Joseph adds: “This is now the time of the cat.”

Altar of the Mountain Lion – Mossa-nah

Information on Joseph’s work can be found at